new rules of communication

I'm a communications professional. I work in advertising, but specifically I do marketing and PR - regularly drafting my company's communications strategy and messages, and then communicating those messages. I'd like to think I'm pretty good when it comes to communication.

When I was little, my Mom (ok maybe this isn't an unbiased opinion) used to tell me that I had a gift for knowing what to say. Not necessarily in a smart-ass kinda way (ok that too), but mostly I knew the right things to say in almost any situation. So from a young age, I always thought there was one area I excelled in, communications.

Then I had a child.

Since then I've been totally schooled on communications strategies by my three year old. I've learned there are actual hidden meanings behind the things she says, and well, things aren't exactly what they seem. In short, my world has been shaken.

Luckily, I've put together a cheat-sheet for communications dummies (like me) to help others interpret these hidden meanings:

• "I be careful" - Right now I'm going to do something dangerous, that I know I'm not supposed to do. Deal with it.
• "I Nuffing!" - I don't want to a) answer your question, b) have to talk to you, c) go away and leave me alone, d) I can't remember the answer to this question, or, e) I'd rather do something more fun right now
• "I not like it" - a) I'm unwilling to try that, not even once, b) please stop immediately whatever you are attempting
• "I hungeee" - a) I don't want to go to bed, b) I don't want to do what you are asking and I'm going to feign starvation until this exercise is over, c) I'm awake in the middle of the night and would rather do anything over going back to bed, and, d) on rare occasion, this actually genuinely means "I'm hungry"
• "I do dat" - a) I'm pretty sure I'm in charge, and I'm going to do this b) (a proud declaration of something naughty that's already been done)
  
• "It's mine" - it absolutely under no circumstances belongs to me, but I want it.
• "One Minute" - never
  
• "I thirsty" - please can someone, anyone, fetch me a glass of water?
• "one more time" - 3-5 more times, minimum
  
• "I love you, ma ma" (this is where my heart melts and I forget about all of the above confusion and negotiation)

Case and point: Niamh after locating the only hidden marker in the entire house, and using it to draw on her face "I do dat"

What do your kids say that absolutely has a different meaning?